For a while I avoided considering writing another book because it seemed like an act of defeat. It felt this way because my first book was this big, messy thing that lived in pieces upon my desktop, and I hadn’t really sent it around to agents, and it wasn’t published. For that reason alone, the idea of starting a new book felt like giving up on the old one.
A more mature version of this story goes: I came to my senses, stashed away my first try, and got started on something else. Something better. I’ve been famous ever since.
The truth is: I dove back into that book, fixed it, decided I was ready for some hardcore industry feedback, went into a pitching contest with it, and came out with some requests.
That’s an absurd thing for me to read to myself. Instinct tells me I should delete it for two reasons:
- It feels like a whimsical, untrue thing
- What if nothing comes of these requests? Then I’ll have chronicled an unrequited half-triumph.
Well, two responses: first, while albeit whimsical…this is in fact a true thing. Second, just because you don’t blog about something doesn’t mean that it didn’t happen. You just don’t remember it as clearly if you didn’t write it down, which is a shame. And besides…lots of triumphs come in halves. They’re still triumphs. If I was talking to a writer friend, I would absolutely tell them to be confident in sharing these milestones.
Anyhow, now that I’m mostly awaiting feedback I am in the unique situation of not having to re-plot anything in my current project (lest it conflict with a bit of better criticism, god willing). That’s sort of…thrilling? It’s not like I’m just going to let this manuscript sit around. There are typos that need fixing, and other queries that need sending out. There are revisions to fuss over and characters to fawn over.
But there’s nothing to plot, and that’s what I love most. This means that I am allowing myself to think about another book without feeling that smothering guilt. More likely it means playing the new Kingdom Hearts game, actually cooking, and responding to any of the many rotting conversations in my personal inbox, and MAYBE updating this site…
But a new book IS in the mix. I’ve been harassing a few ideas for a while, but it’s too soon to post anything real about anything unreal (as if I post!). But the hints I’ll give are these: I think the Heathers would have been a much better movie if they knew how to manage witchcraft. Also, I’m interested in bees right now.
AND I GET TO READ MORE! Starting with: Adam Silvera, and some lover-overdue reading for a few friends (Cam and Jay and Marlena I’m looking @ you, my cherubs).