PITCH FOR: The Right to Bear Arms, a Betsy DeVos Fanfiction

Betsy DeVos, our new Secretary of Education, has such a fantastic mind for fantasy and whim! I just love the little daydream she had about bears and schools and firearms, and it really got me inspired to do some writing that really mattered. After a long talk with all of the other books I’m in the middle of writing, on such banal topics as queer representation in fantasy and mental health, I got cracking on a fanfiction I think America needs. Let me know what you think!

The Right to Bear Arms - Cover


Kate-lynn has it all! She’s popular, she’s blonde, and she’s the proud, patriotic president of her high school’s Firearms Club. After a successful campaign to rally support for her personal hero, Betsy DeVos, Kate-lynn is inches away from finally arming her school with firearms, but then there’s a plot twist.

The Book Club! Those liberal elites have been thwarting Kate-Lynn for years from within their gender-limbo safe space bubble! With members on over half the school board, The Book Club shoots Kate-lynn’s dreams of a well-armed school straight to hell, but then Trevor shows up.

New-Student-and-Key-Character Trevor changes everything. He’s tall, he’s dark, and he’s literally a grizzly bear who just enrolled at the school. With no friends he’s *just* the sort of outcast Kate-lynn needs to antagonize into a predatory rage to make the case for her guns. All she’s got to do is gain his trust.

There’s just one problem: in trying to arm her school, Kate-lynn forgets to arm her heart! The closer she gets to Trevor, the more her emotions betray her, and suddenly Kate-lynn is caught between her love of guns and her love for the beast they’re meant to kill. What will she do???

THE RIGHT TO BEAR ARMS is a Contemporary Romance YA novel complete at 67,000 words, with series potential. It is largely based on an accumulation of data and alternative facts, and has a fun, spunky cast of stereotypes that all white readers will be able to blandly metabolize. A sample cover is included above.

I look forward to hearing from many agents about this very serious project. Serious inquiries ONLY!!!!!!!




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